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Self-help information

We encourage everyone to learn more about the issues they face in their own life, whether it is a specific topic or just your general health and wellness, and how to approach them. Self-help is not meant to replace professional counseling, it is only an aid. Here are some tips on addressing some of the most common concerns for which students seek counseling:

How to Survive Living With a Roommate
Learning to adapt to another person's lifestyle can be a difficult and frustrating experience. However, it can also be a learning experience:

  • Learn about yourself. No one will hold a mirror up to your character quite like a roommate. They can (and probably will) point out your faults...but also your strengths. Listen to what they say, and learn from it. The way you treat your roommate says a lot about the way you treat people in general. Now is a great time to pay attention to that.
  • Learn to share. The Golden Rule doesn't just apply to people; practice it in regards to all the things you and your roommate share. Be respectful of the other person and their space - they may not appreciate a blaring TV if they're studying for an upcoming test, and neither would you. Life with a roommate is a compromise for both sides. Keep the lanes of communication open and try to talk through issues before they develop into World War III.
  • Learn how to ask for help and how to give it. There are times when you really cannot do everything yourself. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, so don't feel guilty for doing so. Learn to ask your roommate for help when you really need it. Letting someone help you is a way to let them get to know you. You will never be able to fully embrace another person until you learn to let go of yourself a little. And it's a two-way street: when your roommate seeks your help, be the person that is willing to go out of their way. The homework can wait a few minutes. Never under-estimate the power of tiny gestures and making time for people.
  • Learn to be flexible. In the end, it all comes down to this. Figure out what matters and leave the rest alone. Express to your roommate about how you feel about things, such as picking up after yourself or using the computer. There are going to be things that you and your roommate disagree on, and sometimes you just have to learn to live with it. Learn to communicate with them, and more importantly, learn to listen. Before you go storming off to your R.A. or R.D., ask yourself if you're listening to your roommate. If you're not listening you're not communicating, you're just talking. Those are two very different things. And yes, it does get easier with time.

Reducing Stress and Anxiety

 

Everyone feels anxious, nervous, and stressed from time to time – that’s how our body naturally copes with the stress of life. As our lives become increasingly busy and stressful, it’s not surprise that anxiety disorders are the most common reason that people seek counseling.

For many people, professional help is the most effective method of treatment, but there are techniques that you can do at home to help alleviate the symptoms of stress and reduce the effect it has on you, such as relaxation training and exercise.

There are many books, videos, and websites that contain specific directions for relaxation training; this is a basic relaxation exercise that can be very useful in your everyday life:

  • Regulate your breathing. Take a few moments to sit back and take some deep breaths. Slowly breathe in through your nose, hold the breath for 3-5 seconds, and then exhale normally. Imagine your stress and anxities leaving your body each time you breathe out.
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). This can be used on either specific muscles groups or your whole body. First, tense up the muscles you are attempting to relax as tight as you can (for example, make a tight fist). Then, relax the muscles to their previous tension level, and then consciously relax it further so that it is as loose as possible. You should feel deep relaxation in the muscles. For maximum relaxation, combine PMR with controlled breathing techniques and mental imagery (e.g. imagine the stress flowing out of your body).
  • Key words. Some people find it helpful to associate relaxation exercises or a relaxed state with specific key words that you commonly hear on a day to day basis. The idea is that when you hear the key word, you begin to relax yourself. Doing this several times a day can help you maintain a healthy level of stress and anxiety.

Some other helpful hints for reducing stress:

  • Get organized. Everyone works best under different conditions, but for most people, a tidy work or study space facilitates lower stress levels.
  • Make plans. Whether its thinking through a stressful event or planning out your day, forming some sort of formal plan of action can help you be both prepared and less anxious about those events. However, along with planning comes flexibility and the recognition that plans may change, and that is okay. No need to stress over your plans to be de-stressed.
  • Be conscious of the environment. Be aware of people and things that may distract you or frustrate you while you are trying to study or work. Close doors, windows, or move to a different location so that you can focus on the task at hand. Being able to finish a project or assignment will take it off of your mind, and hopefully, reduce you stress about it.

See the Stress section on our links page for more information.